Balmy summer days, horse tails swishing flies away, low-lying dust clouds wafting from dragging my boots in the dry dirt. These are a few of my favorite things.
But, I have another favorite thing: seeing God at work. I heard a story from one of our summer classes when God was up to one of my very favorite kinds of work… He set up a kid to get loved on by himself, a horse, and mentors. Thanks, God!
It was the first week of our first summer session. Claire arrived early and sat and talked with the volunteer facilitators in the classroom while they waited for the other student to arrive. It was during this time that the student openly shared about her absent father. She shared how they had had a fight when she was little, and he had left. This exchange was deeper than a simple recounting an order of events. Claire believed that he left because of her.
This curious, amicable seventh grader sat at the ranch with a hole in her heart bigger than words can express. The other student arrived, the conversation ended, and the two girls had a great first class together.
The next week, this same student happened to be the only student who could come. The facilitators had prepared a class of brushing and leading the horse. She worked to lead the horse, Deb, to the far end of the lot. Deb refused to pass a certain point. It’s a “hard no” from Deb. It’s out of character for Deb to resist leadership. That’s the cue our facilitators look for: behaviors out of character.
“What is going on? Why doesn’t Deb want to walk that way?” offered one of the facilitators. The student responded with her first thought, “She doesn’t like me, and that’s why she won’t come.”
Through a series of questions offered by the volunteers, the student was able to observe and verbalize that Deb may have been fearful because of the road. Perhaps she could feel a little anxious to be separated from the herd. Both plausible reasons that had nothing to do with Claire.
Then, the Holy Spirit reminded one of the facilitators, Kaitlyn, about what Claire had said the week before. Kaitlyn said that she could feel her heart pounding. She knew the Lord wanted her to say something, and she wasn’t so sure she wanted to say it. “Claire, do you remember when you told us that your dad had left you when you were a little girl and you felt like it was your fault?” She nodded. “What happened tonight with Deb? Did Deb not go towards the road because she didn’t like you or was there another reason?” Claire verbalized that maybe Deb was scared.
Kaitlyn continued, “I think God wants you to know that your dad didn’t leave you because of you, but maybe because he was scared… Just like Deb, it was something that she was struggling with - her fear of the road. I think that it is the same for you. The reason your dad left has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and something he was struggling through.”
As Kaitlyn recounted this story for me, my immediate response was, “Thank you. Thank you, God. And, thank you, Kaitlyn.”
Perhaps Claire had heard those words from someone before; we don’t know. But, now we know for sure she has. God made sure that Deb showed her a powerful truth that night: adults have struggles; and, dear one, it wasn’t little you.
*student’s name changed for anonymity
**special thanks to our trained volunteers in this class: Christine, Rita, Dean, and Kaitlyn.